Submission To The Eclipse
by Brennanite47
Summary: Brennan POV, set post "The Beginning in the End". Brennan wants to apologize for how rude she was outside Sweets office, but does the conversation develop into something that will change both their lives? One-shot.


_**So, this is dedicated to Coilerfan35 because she's been bugging me to come back to you guys at the Bones community. I swear I've been trying, but this little muse just struck me today. Just a little one-shot I thought would brighten some spirits, should anybody need it. I hope you all enjoy. XD**_

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It had been awhile now since I'd stepped off the plane. Despite the amazing experience, I was happy to be home. You never really realize how dependant the human race is on technology until you go to a third world country where there isn't running water or cell phone service.

I was actually surprised when I saw myself in the mirror of the bathroom on the plane. I hadn't actually seen myself in a long while. There wasn't really much of anything in the area we were in save for a few dilapidated villages. The last time I saw someone that might've been me was almost three months ago when I went down to the river for fresh water, catching the faintest glimpse in the cold water before I disturbed the image with the buckets.

I actually looked pretty good for someone who'd spent the last year on a tiny little island in Indonesia. My face and arms were tanned from countless days in the sun. My hair had gotten lighter, probably three or four shades difference from the last time I looked at it. The combination seemed to make my sky blue eyes take on a deeper, darker quality.

Funny. Darkness was the thing I went to Indonesia to escape.

I felt kind of bad about Daisy, though. When we first departed from Washington D.C. not so long ago, she was just about as ecstatic as I was to go. The difference between us was the fact that I knew more about what would be facing us once we got there. She insisted on carrying around that gigantic backpack and ridiculous hat everywhere. She looked more like a tourist than a forensic anthropology student.

Even so, after the first week she was exhausted. It was to be expected. She's young and eager, but the adaptation takes longer than one would like. After those first two or three months, she'd gotten into the swing of things; her never-ending supply of positive energy never stopped. Even when she was passed out on the floor of our tent she had a smile on her face.

I was even happier when she wasn't as annoying as she usually was in D.C. Daisy was actually rather calm and collected, professional even. If she can keep up the wonderful work that she helped me with there, I was thinking about making her my full-time intern.

The two of us stood at the baggage claim. Whereas we went with bags full of clothes, forensics tools, and other necessities, we came home with fewer clothes than we'd started with (they wear out their usefulness faster than one would thing when you're digging around in the dirt) and now said bags were filled with field notes, photographs, samples of various things, and the worn-out brushes that we'd used to clean the bones we found.

"This is weird." Daisy spoke for the first time in hours.

I looked to her, "How so?"

She shook her head. "You spend so much time in one place, then go somewhere else, and when you come back…it just feels so off."

My bottom lip pouted a little at the thought. "Define 'off'."

"You know…askew, not right." she shrugged.

"Do you mean you'd rather live somewhere without showers and food that requires being killed first?" I smiled a little. Humor was a rare thing for me, but I was in a relatively good mood and took a crack at it.

She laughed nervously and shook her head, "I don't mean that. There's just going to be that adjustment period again. Get back to normal life." she watched the carousel and plucked up a bag that she'd taken with her, then looked back to me. "How do you do it?"

I shrugged a little as my own suitcase came around. "You get used to it after awhile."

We both went on wordlessly as we took the last of our luggage and headed out towards the lobby area. The jet lag was going to be terrible, and I was prepared for it, but the first wave of fatigue hit me like a brick as I tried to get my bag over my shoulder and only succeeded in dropping it. I grumbled as I saw Daisy bite back a smile. I shook my head lightly as she looked around.

"That must be our welcoming party." she pointed to the west east end of the airport lobby.

I followed the direction of her finger and saw the same faces that bid us farewell one year ago today. Cam and Angela were smiling at something a very badly sun-burnt Hodgins had said, or maybe they were laughing at the fact he looked like a lobster. I couldn't tell from so far away.

Cam was the first one to see us, pointing in our general direction. Angela looked up, and it was for the first time I noticed the bulge of her stomach. About four months pregnant, if I was to be guessing.

I laughed as Cam ran to us and hugged us as Angela and Hodgins lagged behind, neither of them able to run without causing themselves some kind of pain.

"What's been going on around here?" I asked after the 'welcome home's.

Cam smiled her million-watt smile and looked back at the couple that came waddling up behind her. "They ran off to the Caribbean not long after you left. Needless to say, they went as two and came back with three."

"How far along is she?" Daisy asked with an elated look.

"A few weeks into her second trimester." Cam responded as they finally made it to their friends.

Angela had the biggest smile I'd ever seen on her face. "Why do you people make me walk?" she asked as she brought me in for a hug.

"It's good for you, Ange." I replied and wrapped my own arms around her.

"Welcome home, Sweetie." she laughed.

"Welcome home, Dr. B." Hodgins smiled. "I'd hug you, but…" he gestured to his burnt body.

"That's quite alright, Hodgins." I smiled everyone hugged Daisy and began inquiring about what it was like in the islands and what we found. I was ready to follow them out of the airport when a small pair of arms wrapped around my waist and began suffocating me.

"Hey, Dr. Bones! You're back!" The voice of Parker Booth filled my ears like an old song from one's childhood; familiar and sweet with memories.

I turned around to see that it was the now eleven-year-old trying to squeeze me in half, or at least felt like it. "Hi, Parker." I returned and bent down to give him a real hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Dad's flight home is today. He should be here really soon, according to my mom." the boy told her like it was the most important thing in the world.

I could feel my eyes widen as my mind returned to concerns for Booth for not the first time in awhile. Even though he was at the opposite end of the world, my thoughts always kept drifting back to whatever he might be doing.

His feelings for me had exploded once before I left. He basically confessed it in the broad dark night that he loved me. And guess what I did? I shut down. Completely pushed him as far away from me as I could, but then sought solace in him as he walked me home with my head against his shoulder the entire way there.

For the first time in my life, I felt like a total idiot. The more I thought about it, the worse it got, too. Finally deciding that the only way to cut myself loose of the situation was to run off to the farthest recesses of the world to dig up human remains. I had to stop and think after the fact what kind of person does that, but could only think of one answer: me.

It didn't even help. I'd lay there in the dark tent while Daisy snored and think about him and what could've happened between us. If anything, the time made it harder to bring myself to face the fact that I screwed up.

I admit it. I messed up so badly that it haunts every spare moment I have to dwell on it. It's why I was hesitant at the moment to wait there for his plane to come in.

"Parker, where is your mom?" I finally returned my attention to the small boy in front of me.

He pointed to the small café the airport sported. I could clearly see the blonde that waived to me, letting me know she saw her son was with me. I wasn't sure what to do. On the one hand, I could take Parker back to Rebecca and leave relatively unscathed. He would come and see his son first instead of me. On the other, he might be expecting me to be here, waiting for him. Today was, in fact, the day. The anniversary that we both left and were to come back on.

"Dr. Bones? Are you going to stay and wait for him with me?" Parker looked up and asked in the innocently pleading voice only a child could possess.

"Um…" I couldn't think fast enough. "I think I'm going to have to catch him later, actually, Parker, but do you think you could give him something for me?"

The boy's face lit up at the thought of being entrusted with a mission. "Sure!"

I ruffled his hair and gave him the envelope I'd been carrying around in my back pocket for months now. I looked at it one last time before I put it in his waiting hands. "I got to go now, Park. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Bye, Bones." he waved good-bye to my retreating back and returned to his mother's side.

I caught a glimpse of camouflage as I looked back at my favorite kid, and only hoped that I slipped out unnoticed.

_**(X)**_

I walked into the familiar office that I left, everything just as I had left it. Cam had told me before I left that there wasn't anyone to take my place. I didn't believe her until now. Either she'd hired a replacement and put them somewhere else, or the Jeffersonian had been without a chief forensic anthropologist for some time now.

I threw my coat on the couch and sat at my desk, the familiar chair providing more comfort than I'd felt over the last year, but not as much as my first-class airline seat.

I closed my eyes and simply breathed. I had gone home and taken a long, hot shower and had tried to go to sleep. I was good tired, but I was better when I was rested. By this point, though, the jet lag had settled in and I was wide awake. I finally gave up after a half hour and decided to come to the Jeffersonian to get back into the swing of things.

This office chair had been my metaphorical friend for a long time now, though. It seemed whenever I sat in it, the world kind of drifted away and I had a this bubble where nothing mattered until I finally had to get up and help somebody with something.

Now, however, it seems to have lost that quality.

I sat there with my head in my hands, trying not to think about the only possible thing that could be on my mind at the moment. I groaned at myself, angry that he seemed to be the only thing on my mind. I flicked the switch on the radio, hoping for something to take my mind off him.

_Once upon a time, I was falling in love, _

_Now I'm only falling apart_

_There's nothing can I do _

_Total eclipse of the heart._

_Once upon a time, there was light in my life,_

_Now there's only love in the dark_

_Nothing I can say_

_Total eclipse of the heart._

"You've got to be kidding me." I grumbled to no one.

"I believe that talking to yourself is an early sign of insanity." a familiar voice said.

I turned my head to look at him. "I'm glad the military hasn't sucked away your ability to make fun of me."

Booth shot me that charm smile that he knew was so effective at melting my heart. He was dressed in street clothes, and I wished I could say the same about myself. I don't know what made me think I was actually going to be doing any work here. Any sane person would be at home, buried under the covers and sleeping until late spring.

But, then again, I wasn't completely sure of my own soundness of mind anymore.

"Have you called Cullen?" I asked.

"Actually, he called me. Asked me how soon I can come back to work. He doesn't think anybody can do the job right anymore." he explained.

"Everyone has their own style." I said anemically.

Booth stepped in from the doorway and sat in the chair opposite my desk. "That's not really why I came here, you can probably tell."

"I didn't think so." I shook my slightly aching head.

"I got your note." he slipped the piece of paper across my desk. I picked it up, not having seen it myself for several months now.

"_We need to talk." _

I always thought I sounded very articulate on paper, but at this moment, it sure didn't feel like it. "Yeah." I sighed.

"Would you mind letting me in on what's bothering you?" Booth asked, waiting patiently for my response.

It was at this moment that my tongue decided to twist into knots and chest constricted a little painfully. I'd never initiated a conversation with the topic that I needed to discuss; the reason I'd asked him down here. "I, um…I need to talk to you about this last year."

He smiled. "How was Indonesia, by the way? Come across any rare ostrich bones, Bones?"

I had to chuckle a bit at that. "Booth, first no, and I don't believe the ostrich is native to Indonesia. But I don't mean talk like that."

"What do you want to talk about then, Bones? I'm not a mind-reader here." he held up his hands in an 'oh well' gesture.

"I know, I know…" I stammered. He used to say that I went at conversations and people like a freight train. That theory was about to be proven. "I wanted to talk to you about what you said to me that night after we left Sweets office."

He stared at me for a few seconds, as if not believing what I'd just said. When he realized I wasn't kidding, Booth just sat there silent.

"It doesn't seem to me that we really talked about it after the fact." I clarified my reason and tried to meet his averted eyes.

"Not much to say about it." Booth got up and walked to the couch. I followed.

"Booth, what I said to you that night…" He whipped around, placing both of his hands on either of my shoulders, making me stop.

"Bones, there's nothing to say about it. Let's just forget it ever happened." he stated slowly and clearly, like I might not understand him if he didn't.

"Actually, there is something I need to say about it. I was completely rude to you that night and I can't stop thinking about it." My voice accidentally raised an octave.

He shook his head. I don't think he knew what to tell me, but I think he was trying to get me to change the subject. "It's alright, Bones. It's in the past."

I still have no idea where my next sentence came from, but it got him to stop dodging me, "And it's going to be our future and our downfall unless you listen to me."

Booth looked a little shocked. I knew I was at the time. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, "Alright." he muttered and dropped to the couch behind us.

I felt a little better when he stopped fighting me. I'd done enough fighting on the issue to for the both of us. I sat down next to him and brought my legs up underneath me. Drawing in a breath, I formed the thought in my head before I vocalized it.

"That night…I came up with every excuse and insult in the book to get you to stop saying those things. And when you finally gave up, I clung to you, afraid you might leave me out there in the rain by myself." I rubbed at the crick I felt in my neck as I spoke. I had to do something with my hands or I really was going to go insane.

He sat silent, staring off into space but apparently still listening. "The fact of the matter is, Booth, is that everything you said to me that night was perfect, idyllic. I know that it's not possible to achieve that, though. I'm not capable of it."

I got up and started to go back to my desk when he caught my hand in his. Biting my bottom lip, I looked down into his big puppy-dog-like eyes. It made me sad to know that I'd put that deep reservoir of melancholy in them.

"You're only capable of what you allow yourself to be capable of, Bones." he said with the flattest voice I'd ever heard him speak in.

His words only made me bite harder. It wasn't until I drew blood that I stopped and looked at him. "I want to be capable, Booth, but it doesn't work like that, you know that."

He stood up, looking down into my eyes. "You think you can't because you've had people hurt you in the past, I get that, but I'm not like them Temperance. I thought you knew that by now." he was closer than what was considered appropriate, but I felt paralyzed. He'd done so much for me over the years, and I for him, but he was asking for only thing that I wanted desperately to give him, and I didn't believe I had to give.

"I'm going to ask you this," he continued, not backing off an inch, "do you trust me?"

The tears were welling up in my eyes and my throat was constricting in the painful way it does when one cries from the heart, or so I've heard. "Implicitly." I assured.

"The same goes for me." he stated. Booth reached up and brushed away the twin drops that left my eyes. "Do you love me?" he asked quietly.

I nursed my injured lip with my tongue and tried to look away, but he held my eyes where they were. "I want to."

A very faint, very fast look of relief came over his face for a slight instant, disappearing as fast as it came. Booth reached up to my cup my cheek with his palm. I shivered inside. "Then do you trust me to at least try this?"

My instincts kicked in as I backed away from him. "What if I can't ever give you the absolution? What happens when you want to get married? I'm sorry if I just don't see this working."

"But you want to." he restated. "And we've been here before, Bones. This is where we were a year ago, and you've got two options: fight or flight." his gaze was so intense I had to look away.

This wasn't what I had in mind for this talk. I merely wanted to apologize for how rude I was. Now I was suddenly faced with this life-changing decision in front of me and I couldn't think. I fell down to the couch again.

"My head's telling me 'flight', but…" I looked up at him as two brand new tears fell from my eyes, "why do I want to tell you that I want to fight?"

"That's what your heart wants." he smiled at her a little.

"Booth, the heart is an organ incapable of-" he placed a finger over my lips. His touch was delicate enough that I could've kept talking if I wanted to, but I decided to humor him.

"Anything is possible when you open yourself up to it, Temperance." he whispered into my ear.

This time, when his lips met mine, I didn't fight back. I didn't lie to myself and say it was a mistake. I didn't even think. And when he wrapped his arms around me, I thought that there might be something to his theory.

Key word being 'might'.

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_**So? How is it? Probably kind of sucky since I wrote this over the course of a few hours, but it was stuck in my head. Please read and review?**_


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